September 11, 1982, was a good day that became a well-known date, at least the 9/11 part. This has been a significant date for almost 42 years for my wife and me. That seems like such a long time, but it also seems like just yesterday. As I reflect today on the anniversary eve I thought it would be worthwhile to jot down a few things I have learned in those 42 years. I hope you find something interesting from what I have to share.

A little background information: Gena and I started dating in the summer of 1980 just before the fall of my senior year in college. She was two years younger. Things progressed quickly and we were engaged and planned a 1982 wedding. We married at Elm Grove Baptist Church, just outside of Murray, KY where we were both undergrads. This will help you as I share the learnings:

Here are a few things I have learned in my 42 years of marriage:

• Marriage works best when your spouse is also your best friend: I have always known this to be the fact, but it was re-emphasized recently while listening to a podcast from the late Tim Keller. If your spouse is not your best friend of the opposite gender, this might present a problem.
• Challenges will come up along the way that will cause you to lean heavily on your spouse: This happened early for us. My dad was diagnosed with terminal cancer two months after we married and he died 7 months later in April 1983. In May 1983 Gena graduated from college on the first Saturday in May, we moved that afternoon and I started a new job the following Monday. We moved again in August 1983 and we both started new jobs that month. That all happened in 11 months.
• Children are an amazing blessing and a challenge all at once: Our first son was born in January 1988 and our second son was born in July of 1990. Both were and are healthy young men. Both excelled in school and both married as well, if not better than their father. Both sons also have two children; one with two sons and one with a son and daughter. I’ll spare you the stories (there are many) that resulted in raising two sons, but the overwhelming majority of them are positive. Gena and I always know that we have been infinitely blessed to have the family we have and to also have them close by. It is hard to describe the feeling you get when your grandchild sees you and runs to hug you. That is an indescribable joy.
• Never take your health for granted: I had a routine physical in 1988 and learned that I had a cold nodule on my thyroid gland. After surgery, it was determined that this was cancerous. I was fortunate that the type of cancer I had was not too aggressive and my treatment was pretty quick. I have remained cancer-free since then. Fast forward to 2020 and I started to be slowed by chronic leg and back pain. After several consultations, I learned that both of my hips had osteoarthritis. Both hips were replaced, one in June and the other in December of 2021. That surgery has changed the trajectory of my life and has allowed me to do things to keep active that were not possible just years before.
• When you marry someone you also marry their family: Gena and I came from substantially different backgrounds. I came from a large Irish-German Catholic family and she came from a large Southern Baptist family. That religious and cultural difference presented some interesting choices when we were younger, but we were led to a reformed church after 15 years of marriage and now worship together. I had no idea that when we married that my in-laws would become defacto parents for me as an adult. My dad died when I was 23 and my mom died when I was 26. As a result, I had the privilege of learning so many things from Sue and Lamon Lovett, Gena’s mom and dad. I could not have asked for better role models in parents/in-laws.

There is so much more that I could add, but I also don’t want to bore you to tears. Let me say this; marrying my wife is one of the most impactful choices I have made in my life. I realize that marriage may not work well for everyone, but for me, it has been joyful beyond belief. The many experiences and relationships that have resulted from this nuptial bond are too numerous to mention. In summary, let me say this to my wife; Happy anniversary, I love you!